I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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