My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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