Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My vagina just clenched in fear
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
