dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
