i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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