Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
