hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
