i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
