I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize