how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
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