he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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