I think i peed on brittanys purse
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
