my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize