***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
