Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
