She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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