So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
