the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize