White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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