she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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