I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
