She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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