there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
