I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
