I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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