have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you never un-have a 4some
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
