Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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