We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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