I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
