i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think people are normalizing furries
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