Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
