And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
