Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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