i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
