Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize