Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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