btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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