She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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