There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
