Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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