So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
