I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
smell my finger.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
