you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
