ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
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I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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