you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wear drunk well.
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