Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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