CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
as a side note pls kill me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
