haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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