I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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