thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
