found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
