just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
