what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
