Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize