if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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