if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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