I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
