remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
