All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
