Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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