I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
