she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
they're like a gay fantastic four
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
