i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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