She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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