so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
