Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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