I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
